something to lighten the mood.

oh.emm.geeeeee.

i just love, love, LOVE this website that sells kebaya and kurung modern.
i'm in LOVE with like... at least SIX of them!
and they're cheap... i guess.
well.. not CHEAP. but a reasonable price for something that beautiful!
i think there's actually a store somewhere in KL, but just for the convenience of customers, they display the pictures online so that people can order them and pay online.
it's great.
it's BEAUTIFUL!
there's like.. 2 that i am dead set on buying.
argh.
geram gile okay!
i should've saved up all my money to buy this stuff!
kalau tidak boleh beli all 6!

at least 2 could be for Raya this year.
1 could be for my graduation.
another one for Malaysian Carnival.
another for Merdeka Dinner.
and another for... i dunno. whatever dinners!

gahhh!
if i can get my hands on just those two that i'm dead set on...
that is enough to give me a little satisfaction!

p.s. i really have nothing to update on. i've stayed home for 2 straight days! damn this chinese new year. everyone's gone. i've been watching new episodes of Greys Anatomy, Private Practice, Privileged, Gossip Girl, How I Met Your Mother, Desperate Housewives, and Ghost Whisperer. And... a little bit excited at the new season of Lost, although it's getting a little boring now that they're off the island, they wanna go back. *rolls eyes* whatever keeps the profit coming in.

<3 suryani

pretend.

i hate the police.
not all police.
just the malaysian police.
there was a road block last night.
some of the questions the policeman asked had nothing to do with his business.
there was this one question in particular... that i won't say here.
it hit me big time.

it had me facing reality.
something that i've been putting off to the side and ignoring it like it doesn't exist.
i know, you guys are thinking.. what could a policeman possibly say for me to think like this right?
well, think about it.
the malaysian police seriously do not know how to do their job.
asking questions that are inappropriate.
no wonder nothing gets done.
even asking questions that they don't have the right to.

well, it had me facing the truth that i didn't want to admit.
but it just wasn't their place to do so.
kalau setakat nak nampak profesional, baik pegi tembak penjenayah2 yg dorang takde effort nak tangkap tu.

<3 suryani

spiralling!

so.
i don't seem to want to be online as much ever since i arrived back in malaysia.
i don't know why.
i've been so sleepy ever since that first day.
i don't think it's jetlag... cos if my calculations are correct... it's not even the time that i usually sleep while i'm in ireland.
so could it because of the weather?
or because there's nothing to do here at home?
or possibly a mixture of both?

anyway, the get-together of the Adelaidean clan was fun.
i really enjoyed seeing everyone again.
even though we see each other everyday in Adelaide, it's not the same as going out and chilling together in KL.
i'd say it's more exciting.
so we went to Plaza Low Yat cos khai had to get her laptop's keyboard fixed.
then crossed through Sungei Wang to get the bubble tea at Cup Bon.
and off to Pavilion to meet up with the rest of the crew.

the food court was of course full house by the time we got there since it was lunch time.
but we managed to find one long table at the very end of the food court.
and i must say, we managed to get a few staring faces when everyone got there.
what with all the screaming, shouting, loud-talking, and excitement.
we all ate for a while and went to Time Square for bowling, where I kind of got tired after the 6th... bowl? not game. oh. whatever it's called.
i felt like bowling at Marion's more fun. lol.
met up with Pian and Bontot there.. then later headed for Laila's house for prayer and then later to Shah Alam to get Pojik's car.
i know it would've been much easier to take my car...
but i'm really sorry to those of you who were there and are reading this blog...
my car's not in the best condition after leaving it for quite some time.
as i'm not that great with cars... not so fond of the car now (after asking my dad to buy a new one and repeatedly getting the same answer)... i don't know where and what to service and how much it costs.
so i have to wait for my dad to come back to maybe convince him to get a new car... again.
tak pepasal kang... kete mati tgh jalan buat malu je kan....
heheheh
so so sorry cos we had to go the harder way around.
but maybe next time we come back to malaysia i might have my own car! yay!

after a long, tiring drive (although it wasn't me driving.. boleh terase jugak... so imagine what Laila felt)...
we finally arrived in Shah Alam but the guys' car didnt arrive yet. they were still stuck in traffic.
it was kind of ridiculous how far away they were...
so we waited at a "Bistro"...
waited for the heavy downpour to pass.
then decided to leave for Putrajaya and meet the guys there instead.
it was a little funny at how much we got lost there trying to find Alamanda.
went from one precinct to another.
finally the guys actually found Alamanda before us!!! hahahaha
didn't really get to chill around Putrajaya...
so we went to send Ira home at Sepang and ate a little.
then after that we all went our separate ways.
some of them had to go to OBS the next day. jeles okay!!!!!!!!!!!!
with Laila, Khai and I still getting lost...
thankfully having the courageous Pian following from behind.
hahahaha.

i didnt get any pictures with my camera.
but i know Hazerq took a lot and so did Laila.
so if you guys are reading this... NAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
;p

in the meanwhile,
i stole these from Laila's xanga. :p




there are more exciting pictures.
waiting for the group picture... will post it up once i get my hands on em.

p.s. my car got stuck in a hole...gutter-hole?... and i've been rescued once again.

<3 suryani

ain't it sad?

sorry for not updating since i returned to malaysia.
with my laptop acting up and being really tired...
i just couldn't get online and update.

but my laptop's returned to normal again.
i've fixed it with the help of a few people also.
it's just a little bit slow.
oh well.

anyway, thanks soooo much to Laila for picking me up at KL Central...
along with her bf and my B... thanks to u guys too.
the day wasn't that hot.
although the next day was veryyyyy humid!!!! arghhh!!
thankfully my hair is shorter now.. so tak rimas sangat...
it was great seeing Laila and being able to tell all kinds of stories!
i needed that. especially after almost 2 months of baby talk hahaha.
i do miss Qystina and Qimi. so so much.
i called a couple of times to talk to her.
and sheesh... she sure does talk a lot of nonsense.
i knew how to layan that when i was there. but didn't know how to over the phone. hahaha...
she keeps asking me "Acu pegi mana?"
hahaha. i keep telling her "Acu dah go home laaa"
and she replies "alaaaa"
hahahaha
so cuteeeeeeeee
so far my sister says that she's okay with Qys and Qimi.. just that Qys doesn't want to take a bath.
hahaha.

well, i spent the day cleaning up a few things around the house.
went to Giant to buy a few things for the house.
then spent the rest of the day with my B.
today, i was meant to go to my Aunt's house to send her some of her stuff and find out where Laila's house is located.
but i overslept.
i was just so tired.
from boredom.
hahahaha.
so everything must be done tomorrow instead.

meeting up with the rest of the Adelaidean clan tomorrow
can't wait!
it's gonna be great fun.

i will update more soon :)

til then, lemme leave with these two pictures:





<3 suryani

bad timing.

sacre bleu!!!
imbecile!!!
shiyaaatt!!!
fudddddddddgeeeee!!!

excuse my french. or what seems to be partly french cos i forgot how to say the others.

my.laptop.is.rosak!

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

my files!!!
my files!!!!

a guy on my yahoo messenger.. (i dont even know how he got into my list)...
told me that according to my "story" leading up to the destruction of my laptop... it's just something wrong with my account.
so it doesn't necessarily mean that my files are gone.
then i asked him if i brought to the kedai would they be able to help me?
he sed that knowing how the sales people are.. they probably will tell me to format it.
the easiest way.
fudgeeeeeeeeeee!!!

let's pray people.
that everything turns out okay.

p.s. i'm leaving for malaysia tomorrow. doing a little bit of shopping today. will be arriving on sunday :)

<3 suryani

blank.

hahahahahahahhaah
hihihihihihihi
hohohohohohoh
hehehehehehe...

i am becoming crazy.
so crazy.
and becoming a person that JUST doesn't care.

what's wrong with making a girl feel a little special?
just a little?
sure, love is all that matters.
but is it wrong to show it once in a while?
> guys may not care much for them..
but us girls sure do appreciate it.

anyone know my brother?
my big, tough, macho-macho-man brother?
dulu dulu he's not that good at knowing how to please his girl much...
but now he gets it a little.
he buys her a handbag once in a while from here and when I go back to malaysia he has me send it to her.
how does he choose the handbag?
i donno lah.
asalkan lawa and bukan mcm budak2.... i think i even remember him doing arts and crafts.
something with wood, resulting in a wooden teddy bear?
i dont know.
but good enough for a guy who started off knowing nothing kan?
in the end his gf felt wanted.. felt special.

haih.
makes me want to run away to somewhere peaceful.
a beach... with just.. maybe one or two people.
waves slapping against the rocks.
the water so blue green clear... that you can see the bottom of the ocean.
a path of big rocks going out into the water like a pier...
just sit there... til sunset. :)

then.. life is good.
nothing to be upset about...

p.s. i've got to end the blog here. my sister supposedly sed she was gonna use the laptop for 5 minutes.. that became like... 40 mins. so i've lost my train of thought.

<3 suryani

friend or foe?

argh!
i really hate it la.

friends who are there only in their time of need.
and when they've got it all...
dorang lupe kan kite?
sometimes even go behind our back when they know we've gotten there first.

bila dah ade org lain.. kawan2 lain...
kawan lain yg slalu ade disamping dia...
that even considered them a good/close friend
dia lupe terus.

hey.
terima kasih la kawan.
with friends like you, who needs enemies, right?
jangan harap la aku nak kasi anymore attention to you and the so-called world that you think revolves around you.

<3 suryani

spread your wings and fly

i actually felt like i was physically fighting for a space in the classes.
with an aggressive face..
racing to the finish line.
pushing anyone in the way to side.

online enrolment has opened.
i was waiting for 2 hrs before it opened.
and at the very second that it did, i was trying to find the class i wanted.
turned out all spaces for the core subject was full?
wat the....??!
for both sems.
pelik.
access adelaide bodosh!.
my heart started beating real fast.
i was just so scared.
even though i knew something was wrong with the system itself,
i just couldn't stop being scared and nervous.

ellen helped me from korea.
she did hers so fast.
so she helped me with mine.
she just kept on refreshing and finally got it.
hehehe.
thank u thank u thank u ellen!!!

i've made my decision on the elective..
i went to look back at how many spaces were available.
25?!
doesnt that mean like.. 5 people have enrolled so far?
gile lah!!
is everyone else doing the other elective i was contemplating?!
now that just makes me more nervous.
i feel like i'm on the wrong path.
hahaha.
but whateverlah.

it's done.
wipe the salty water of which you call sweat away from ur forehead.


and relax................

<3 suryani

broken strings

oh, the truth hurts and lies worse.
How can I give anymore, when I love you a little less than before?

enrolment is in about 2.5hrs away.
i am very nervous.scared.confused.pressured.tense.
i've been contemplating between two electives...
don't know which one to choose.
i know which one i want more, but the other one makes me feel like i'm missing out on something useful; something that won't allow me to find a job any easier.
i know that sounds stupid.
but i think about these little things.
i know i won't be a great architect.
but i don't want my structures to be collapsing on my clients.
the one i want more is something that i love.
animation.
it's useful, too, in a way.
it helps us promote, commercialize, present our work better.
and the other elective won't have anything to do with what i'm gonna major in for masters.
but...!!!
argh.
i've asked everyone to help me.
i needed someone to brainwash me into choosing.
but nobody seems to have the ability to do so.
whatever lah.

we went to newry and belfast last saturday.
my parents left on sunday.
we rented a "mini bus"... hahaha.
well, compared to what we usually ride in, this is a mini bus.
in reality it's actually a mercedes vito or something.
since the the UK currency.. the pound has gone down.. now it's at the same level as the euro.
so i guess everything else is cheaper in the UK now.
that's why we went.
i bought 2 new tops at Zara.. but the one that my dad told me to wait for til we go to Belfast was just 5euro/pound less.
i guess ok lah kot.









no matter that it's winter around here... everything still seems so green.
that's one of its beauties.
there's something that looks like the london eye.
then there are the beautiful lights at night.

hmmm.
aside from that...
i think that i've been thinking too much.
there's all sorts of things running through my head.
and seeing as how i have a big imagination... that can create stories from the very tiniest bit of idea...
it's killing me slowly from the inside.
plus the pressure of having to make my decision about classes now before the enrolment opens.
and having to plan around that to work and save up the money.
and my new year's resolutions.
don't ask what they are cos i wont say it here.
i'll only say it to certain people who i believe can support me thru it all.

and from my previous entry?
i still haven't told that person.
i dont know if i should tell once i get back to malaysia or wait til i get back to adelaide.

let's end with a cute picture to release all the tension shall we?



<3 suryani

maybe not.

do u know that feeling...
as a good friend..
you've just got to tell them something they don't know but should?
but then it might ruin the path they've chosen..
but then if you don't tell them... you'll feel this burden?
you'll feel regret.
that it's partly your fault because you showed that path to ur friend?

if you don't understand...
it's okay lah
but if you do...
that's how i feel now.
like i just gotta tell them...
because it's a big thing to know.
about that other person.
but then maybe that other person has changed and the "thing" that i've got to tell is just of the RECENT, very RECENT past.
but maybe not.

i see this person so happy.
so maybe that other person has changed.
but maybe not.

have you ever heard of... jangan kacau dan masuk campur dgn hal rumah tangga org?
well yea. this is it.
i heard it from a close frend of the source.
don't know how much of it is true.
usually we're too dumb to believe it.
sometimes we're too dumb to see it so we shove it aside.
more than usually not, we end up heartbroken.
maybe not.

i don't know what to do...
i am stuck.

<3 suryani

french connection the sacrifices!!!

at a moment like this...
i would've thought someone like him would understand how i feel.
but unfortunately that is not the case with people who have to be shown onto the right path.

isn't it a little bit sad that for about 4 years now i've always wanted to celebrate new year with my friends.
to be able to go somewhere crowded and loud..
to be able to countdown and shout happy new year at the top of your lungs.
but never could.
there's always something that takes it all away from me.

this year...
my family.
okay. it sounds like family should top over everything right?
but this isn't the case.
they say i should sacrifice what i want to put family first in line.
i remember last year wanting to go back to malaysia for new year so having to leave dublin earlier.
they said that i should sacrifice it.
to be with my family.
i can do that next year definitely if i want.
so. next year has come.
and where am i?
still in dublin.

my sister said that i would be able to celebrate it here with my second sister.
what? do they mean for me to tag along and be the third wheel while she goes and celebrates new year with her boyfriend?
i dont click with my sister's friends and her world.
it's just not me.
so what option am i left with?
stay home and watch a movie.
that i had to download.
wow.
yes. that was exactly what i had in mind for new year! nothing better!

-_-!

so this year. they say the same thing. i can celebrate next year.
but you see...
they know i won't have time next year.
what ... with it being the year i graduate...
and my wanting to take up an internship ...
psh.
who knows.
they'll probably force me to come and have me make "sacrifices" again.
yes. as i'm typing this i am making expressions on my face.

hmm...
we just came back from sending my brother off at the airport.
his class starts soon so he has to leave for wales earlier than any of us.
my parents leave this sunday.
whereas i'm suppose to leave next week.
then... i had to extend it.
making sacrifices.

and he still hasn't sms-ed me or even came online when i asked him to ...
no new year wish.

i dont understand why i'm always the one who has to make sacrifices.
who has to go the long way around just so i could satisfy other people.
NOTHING's in it for me!
and how do people still look at me when i have done all of this?
they still think i'm the young girl who cant think for herself and am making the wrong choices... and that i'm always wrong.

so all i can say is...
thank you.
thank you very much for having faith in me.
for letting me make my own decisions.
and for only wanting and searching for me when you need me.

<3 suryani