trying to get up that great big hill

woohoo!~
today was pretty good..
went to work at 12.. tested me a little... but got it under control :p
then the boy i tutor got off school early so the tutoring session went earlier.
got bubble tea on my way home~

so.. shocking news: the king of pop died from a heart attack?
found out when i was at work..
a little bit sad la.. cos he's got a family and everything..
but more shock for me..
and kesian tak.. farrah fawcett died too! the same day!
but MJ's death dominated the news so people probably didnt notice!

hmmm..
oh yeah.. i found the perfect dress for the presentation im having in Penang.
lawaaaaaaaaaa sangat!~
and i got that FCUK bag that i've had my eye on since it came out~
im happy that i finally get to shop a little..
but of course the financial problem will always be there.
demmmm!

on another hand..
im kind of excited.. yet nervous.. for sunday! my trip to Singapore-Penang!
my roomate wont be there for the first two nights..
i dont wanna get left outttt..
but then again i might go out with few singaporean frends...
however, i dont to make it seem that im doing too much of my own thing.
hmm.. hope all goes well!~

other than that..
i'm excited for the day we're gonna celebrate the july birthdays!
some friends in the group sed they were gonna celebrate..
and including mine.. there's 3 bdays in total to celebrate :D
so yay!
i hope this time it's not all talk and no action.
always wanted to celebrate it with friends :)
if i cant celebrate it with family or loved ones... might as well the next best thing right :)

hmm..
gonna watch transformers 2 2moro~
so i should get some sleep now..
since i still gotta do some laundry for my packing and some cleaning :p

toodles,
<3 suryani

the two most important persons

this is especially for my daddddd~ even though he doesn't read my blog...
not allowed to read my blog.
hehehe

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!~
thank you for all the sacrifices you've made.
i know that i've been difficult to handle sometimes in addition to the 3 other children and one constantly bickering wife...heheh jgn mara makk..
but i would never do something to put u or the family in danger or face serious problems.
i say that you're the best dad in the world... best man to be able to take care of our family like this... keep us safe, healthy and happy.
i know the things u have sacrificed in order to do things our way...
dont think i have no idea...
when i think back to when i was younger... how i was constantly complaining... and wanted things my way...
i've regretted so many of those times...
i'm trying to become a better person... i hope you can see that.

you're one strong man to be able to support our family the way you do...
it's gonna be hard for someone to measure up to you.
and .. ape lagi ayaH! you're 58 this year!
lagi hebat dr superman :) superman dah tua kerepot xleh nak fly.. spender merah die pon kene pakai kt dalam dah sbb terlalu longgar~
ayah.. dgn feberet sluar corderoy warna ceklat tu... ngn sweater laguardia high school yg ayah diam2 amek dr yanie tu.. 58, macho kot and still strong~
like u sed... "heyy.. i'm still young whatttttt.."
okay la. i'll let you have that for today cos it's ur day :D

thanks dadddaayyyyy for sacrificing so many things for our happiness and to give us the best there is..
thanks dadddaayyyyy for making our dreams come true :)
don't you worry dadddaayyyy... nanti yanie dh keje and kaye.. i'll make ur dreams come true too :)
starting off with ur dream house~

kudos to my mommmaaayyyy too~
kalau mak gatal2 nk kawin ngn org lain..
xde la u guys get to have the perfect youngest child like MOIIII~
hahahaha..
good job mak. or good job ayah. whoever made the first move :P
to list everything that you've done for us is gonna take forever~
so i hope u understand how i care for you in my subtle actions.

p.s. i apologize in advance for the future frustrations that i may bring to u. if i do it again, whatever i say pon, i will always love you :D and that is why u kenot read this entry because i know u will laugh at me for being so touchy feely~ but i know ur answer :) "thank youuuu... i lap uuuu.. i miss uuu..." and u will rub my cheeks with ur recently shaven dagu yg u know makes me feel yuckkkyyyy!~

p.p.s i hope ur proud of us.. the distance that each of ur chilren have gone :) if it were not for u and mak, we wouldn't make it this far :)


that's my cousin. i was leaving for south africa at KLIA.. and my dad suke menyebok :D


okay la.. more like a dedication to both of them.. i know i have better photos.. and recent ones but im not sure where i saved them. hehe.

<3 suryani, i know i'm your favorite. hahaha

home run~

hooray!
i'm finally free!
everything is over and done with!
except for the fact that i only have one week holiday til i go to penang :(
but yay!!!

the last 2-3 days i spent my day and nites at uni in the architecture computer room with laila.
i was meant to finish up 15 A4-sized photoshop files each day..
but i didnt know that there were so many things to do on one page.
so the last few pages were all crap.
i didnt put a lot of effort into it. hahaha.
but yea, this semester's final submission wasn't like last year.
everything's better now... less pressure.
the printer jammed at exactly 10am.. which was the time for our submission.
other people were there waiting to print theirs too..
one person merely went to the lecturer to tell her about the printer,
and she simply replied that we can hand it in once the printer gets fixed.
so i took my own sweet time changing the color of my cover pages and adding in a contents page (which at that time i didnt kno we had to have.. so luckily i thought of it before i handed it in).
the best part was that wen i arrived in the morning i didnt look flustered or anything close to it..
i had enough time to wake up and get ready and look fresh.

i went home close after submission time and put in another few hours of sleep.
then i had to go for the tutoring session.
i applied for tutoring with another high school student, a girl in year 9.
meeting up with her mom nxt week.
rase mcm nervous.. tp mcm x... sort of...

well, hmmm.. i was reading my friend's blog... one i havent seen for so long.
he updated with a video from youtube... that showed an american woman (probably a talk show host) interviewing three muslim ladies, one wearing the hijab.. one wearing the niqab and one free hair lady.
i'm too lazy to put up the video here... sorry..
but firstly.. the free hair lady was just the typical free hair muslim.. from india... living in canada. she totally created a difficult situation for the other two ladies as she sounded like she was against muslim.
it's not like im an expert.. but i think when you really think about it.. it all comes to one thing: choice.
you can choose to be free hair or wear a hijab or niqab.
memang xleh pakse pon.. kalau kene pakse.. kind of proving the opposite.
the interviewer was quoting stuff from a person called jack straw? apekah???
people, i do not even kno who that is or what that is...
but that person said that in a community you're supposed to be able to walk the streets and socialize with others... be easy to approach,
but when ur covering urself ur just making it hard for people to approach u?
and that the person ur talking to wont be able to understand ur expressions and emotions when ur talking to them cos they cant see ur face.
actually, what i think is.. this all comes down to the fact that there will always be people judging others out in the public.
if you're not judging people for covering their heads or faces, you may be judging someone on the way they dress.. or the way they speak.. or even the features of their physical body.
so the person is saying that it's hard to approach someone if they were a hijab or niqab? so is that the real reason people just don't approach these ladies?
if that's the case... how about the people living on the streets.
they give off a foul odor... they talk to themselves... they're unsanitary..
easier to approach? or should i ask are they even approachable at all?
how about other people showing faith in their religion by wearing something to represent it? a father.. a nun..people wearing crosses.. or how about those people that wear those hats and the fake curly hair down their sideburns? i donno who they are.. jews ke.. apetah..?
cud it be that its easier for others to approach cos its part of ur religion.. or ur used to it cos its more close to normal clothes?
so is the hijab and niqab.. think of it as one of this lady:


r u saying u wont approach that old lady..?
or a winter hat that covers the ear down to your neck.. its the same isnt it?
it covers your head.
come on la, the world is full of judgemental people.
we may walk on the streets and judge someone just for passing us in their luxurious car... or even the way they talk as we walk pass them on their cellphone.
so how can you simply rule out women specifically wearing hijab and niqab just on this one statement?
and expression...? why do you need to see someone's face to know how they feel?
memang la you can see the truth better..
but that is basically a case of poor judgment.
kalau tertipu.. your hal la.
emotions may be expressed through tone of voice or even body gestures.
the free hair lady said that wearing the hijab will prevent people from coming towards you... whereas the point is to attract people to make them feel that muslim isn't oppressing?
that just depends on the person la.
people have the right to their own opinions...
you're not gonna try to twist their brain.
you can choose to wear ur hijab or niqab... let people think what they want.
if you think it's right to cover up.. then do so.
if people don't approach you... it's most probably your attitude towards socializing.
you yourself have to be able to approach people lah.

haih.
sorry... i told myself i shouldn't write this.
i'm sorry if some people disagree with me..
just nak express je... in another view of a free hair female.
this actually reminded me of my TOK paper...
i wrote something on the hijab... i dont remember what i wrote anymore.. i'm not even sure if i made my point.
lol... but my point was to say that the covering is a choice. shouldn't be forced. shouldn't put u in harm's way.
we all tend to judge others. but it's human nature.
just dont go overboard la kan?
hehehe...

okay lah.
enough for today.
i'm gonna finish off watching the Reaper :D

<3 suryani

of big hidungs, flat-chests, eyes-too-far-apart, and conceited people

bonjour. :)
je suis dans la suite d'ordinateurs??? waiiittttt... that's wronggg!!!
okay. cut that. i'm in the computer room in the architecture building.
it's 9.18pm.. and some things have distracted me from working on my assignment.
laila and i have been here since this afternoon.. around 1pm?
had lunch at SB (note: it's not strand bags) and had this done:


we've wanted to do this for a while.. only didnt have the moolah at those moments.

well, in the midst of working on my FINAL assignment (yes i really mean it this time.. it's the last one of this semester!) i, of course, logged onto myspace.. email.. facebook.. then.. TWITTER!
yea.. encik afani invited me.. didn't really do a lot of convincing... but i accepted anyway.
laila showed me a certain bitch's twitter.

so i told nasha about this...
and she said i should talk to her face to face.
i can still bersabar... i'm not about to lose control over something like this.
tapi kalau betul kaw pegang ayam aku ngn lemak babi kaw tu...
you're really picking a fight with me..
nak gado.. nak mara.. argue normally! why the need to include religion, ha bitch?!

yea people, you read right.
she mentioned in her litte hello kitty page that she could marinade my chicken in lard if she wanted to.
makan lard rupenye... is that what's preventing you from zipping up ur jeans?

haih.
*Phew* yes i needed to type this out while the anger is still here. :)
no, i'm not being a hypocrite for saying that she shud stop obsessing over us whereas i'm doing the same thing here.
the thing is: i'm not obsessing. i'm trying to be patient. i don't big talk, i will do. but this isn't the time.. not over this matter, anyway.
i dont live in that little world where i think the world revolves around me.

sekian,
terimasssss :)

<3 suryani

some space.

*sigh*
did i tell you.. i went window shopping yesterday?
i kept laila company while she happily walked into each store that we usually go into. :(
but... nevertheless... i DID take photos to keep a reminder of what i will buy once i get the money :)

there's this one outfit.. a dress sort of... that's soooooooooooooo lawa!
i think it was from.. forever new.. ke?
tah. dah lupe..
sangat lawa.
SANGAT2! it's simple... the top half is light gray and the bottom half is a couple different shades of purple.
this is a must have before i go to Penang!

FCUK is having the best sale i've seen.
but i may feel this way mostly because i dont have any money right...
but seriously.
i LOVE the bag that's on display there.
the maroon or the gray one.
at an appropriate price for fcuk!
and some belts!! waaaaa!!..
then there was that chauffeur-like hat.
i know i'm not a hat person!
but... i can collect can't i?
what if i need it someday?

*sigh*...
i can only wait for my money to come in and hope that they will still be there at the same or lower price :)

hhmm..
anyway... the tutoring went pretty well.
i was nervous for nothing.
it was frickin geometry!
i up and went to study til statistics!

one particular news made me very nervous today.
i received an e-mail from my course coordinator for Penang Studio...
earlier in our meetings he said that we would be able to choose our own groups.
or if we preferred it... he could it for us.
then he sends everyone an e-mail saying he's randomly chosen 5 group leaders... merely to organize groups.
and i'm the first one. the very first one, at the very top.
and the next thing i see is that... the other group leaders are mostly people who would be in each other's groups.
so he's made that difficult on us.
i'm close to one person in this Penang group and was really hoping i'd be in his team.
but seems like he might not want to since his best friend is another team leader :(
i know that eventually people will HAVE to join my group.
but that just makes it worse..
people forced into joining ur group.
and what if its people i dont really talk to?
pretty hard to communicate when we dont really talk, righT?

well.. i sent the coordinator an e-mail.
asking that i'd be more comfortable if he organized the groups for us.. at random of course..
but he hasn't answered.
i know i wouldnt be popular around these people if they found out i was the one who made the coordinator organize random teams.
i probably sounded like a goodytwoshoes~
but i had tooooooo!!
i feel bad.. but at the same time... *phew* lega~
hehehe..

okay..well..
that's pretty much it.
i've realized that since my assignment was postponed to monday..
i have done nothing worthwhile for... 4 days?
hahahha..
oh well!~
gotta panic and finish it up 2moro~

<3 suryani

cantik menarikkkkk

well, today went pretty good.
the nervousness i had for starting work today was all first day jitters i guess.. from not having to work for a while.
the environment is MUCH better than nando's.
it's something that we do all the time at home..
the way they cook.. prepare things...
and the customers seem to be just way more patient than the customers nando's used to get.

anotherrrrrr thing that makes me happy is that a fellow work mate from nando's offered to pick up my tax return slip for me when it comes out..
she also said that i can apply for my tax return online :D
so i can do it from Penang :D
only she said there will be a lot of forms to fill out.
that's not gonna be a problem for meee!!
i want my tax back!!!

oooo..
i was also browsing through some job vacanciess...
andddd omggggg..
i could be making about 650aud in 5 days!
but sadly.. for one thing... the work requires me to pick things up.. at most 20kg.
thats heavy stufffff..
for 8 hours in one day?
and plus... i cant work two of the days cos of assignments :(
dammmitttttt!!
and they give cash too!!
GAHHH!!!

well.. wish me luck on the tutoring session 2moro!
i hope everything goes well...

<3 suryani

titi tumblleeeee

hmmm...
i feel like everything good is happening to me today :D

i finally got a job... finally got a shift.
i got a notice saying some money is coming my way in advance :D
anddddd... my assignment that's due on Friday is now postponed to Monday :D
even though i'll have two assignments to work on this weekend... i don't mind.
cos the one that's postponed to Monday is A LOT of worrrkkkkkk...

i'm kind of nervous for my first shift tomorrow...
silly isn't it? since i did similar things when i was working at nandos...
but.. i donno.. mebi cos its the new environment... new people?

anyway,
hope this will allow for a steady income for me..
maybe if this tutoring session goes well.. i'll take up another tutoring session with another student :)
moreee moneeeyyyy~
too bad i'm leaving for Penang.. 3 weeks are going to wasteeeee...

soooo..
i'm currently webcamming with Qys.
she's talking nonsense... i'm pretending like i'm listening but not really.
hahahah..
i don't knowww what she's talking about!!
but she drew a fish for me.
hahaa.
boleh laaaaaaa :p

hmm... i've cleaned off the study table in my room..
put my laptop back on it..
now my room seems bigger :D
and more clean.
hahaha..
just gotta wait for money to come my way to do some laundry!

alright. i guess that's itttt...
boring days bring no exciting news~

<3 suryani

l'amour est mort.

i wish to go somewhere far, far away.
i wish to go somewhere i can be with the closest of friends.
i wish for it to make my problems disappear.
i wish i can just stop time :D

going to Penang soon :)
can't wait to start socialising soon :D
i can start to mingle around with people i've never really talked to before :)

everything has ended for me.
there is nothing left for mE :)
uni life is just gonna take over from now on :D

i wish i could go to Scotland with my family :(
go to my brother's graduation...
and go on that road trip to Scotland like my dad planned.
i hate that i'm missing out.
butttt.. Penang is a good opportunity for me right?
someone convince me, quick!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
i'm just really...i don't know.. my mind is just off somewhere else..
don't know what to focus on.
that's why i'm babbling on about random things.
got my presentation tomorrow...
then i've got a bunch of other final things to hand in.
but tomorrow is the last of presentations :)

aaa.. ermm.. aaa..
someone slap me, quick...
i need someone to slap me back into reality!

<3 suryani

unraveling the mystery.

*sigh*

this random thought came to me...
that i'm turning 22 soon.
and i'm spending it in Penang.. with 24 other people from my course.
... and 2 lecturers.
sketching, filming, and interviewing.
work, work, work.

i never got that "really awesome" gift when i turned 21...
didnt have people to celebrate with either.
sedih kan... missing that special feeling.
still waiting for that "awesome" gift ... soon lah!
dah tua2 nnt sape nak kasi gift2 dah...
the most i get from my family is a card from my eldest sister and bday wishes through sms from the rest.
not that i don't appreciate all the presents i got from a couple of my friends and the cards from some.
but i guess my family was never much of a bday-celebration family.

i used to envy some of my friends who get all the love they needed to know they had on their bday.
dari jauh pulak tu...

walala!
okay enough of that bullcrap.
sorry la ter-emotional lak.
nothing's going great with me nowadays.
work is so hard to find, and money is something i desperately need.
this financial problem is limiting me to things i want to do!
not shopping lah! but road trips and hanging out with my friends!
hope this will be solved soon!~
final submissions are still in progress.
i cant wait for the week before i leave for penang... where i can just sleep all day and all night with no worries and never have to think about any problems.

oo.. and i just checked my points for my malaysia airlines enrich card.
and i thinkkkkkk i have enough to redeem a free return ticket for the end of the year to malaysia.
so i'll be booking that sooner than expected.
and i'll be free to use my visitation rights to my mom to go to south africa for raya!~
which will be discussed with my dad soon.

my chest pains are becoming worse.
kdg2 takot gak kalau xleh nafas... but as i hold it out... it becomes okay kot.

well, thats all for now. i just wanted to post some thoughts :)
i should go do my assignment now :)

oh. one more thing. i've wanted to post this a while now.. hehehe.
they're quotes from LAILA
interpret from them what u want :D

"i tak suke la ais2 ni... susah nak sedut bola dia..."
"jangan jadi donatttt... jadi bola xpe" - with a smile on her face..
"riding is good for your health" - with a mischievous smile on her face? hahaha!

ohhhh.. btw.. this is one of the kain designs i wanted to purchase last year! they have a new stock! GASP!!!



i LOVE LOVE LOVE the pink one!~

<3 suryani

des argents~

i feel like i wanna cry :(
i really need money! okay.. not NEED.. but WANT!
i haven't gone shopping for sooooooooooo long.
seriously people.. im not wasting my money on things that i don't need!
i was only able to get a few things from valley girl and cotton on..
like.. 3-4 pieces of clothing :(
and now...
i see new baju kebaya kain materials that i really want :(
i've wanted these since... last year! :(
now they're out with new designs!






tell me u do NOT think this is BEAUTIFUL!
im in LOVE with the dark maroon one, the second one. the one with the almost clasping neckline!
arghhh!!
money, money! rain on me!!
or maybe... i could ask my dad for a bday present???
hahaha...
my bday is soon.. hmmm.. maybeeeee.. but i've come to the point where i'm afraid to ask him for anything morE! :(

work. oh work. :(
i need u now. :(
and maybe.. i should start going to the gym again soon.
hahhehe...

<3 suryani