time to burst again.

ya know what,
i have no respect for those who change their thoughts, their mind, their actions... all based on what their partner says and thinks.
and i HATE people who seem to change the way they dress, speak, and act to somehow be on the same level as their partner.

i'm sorry, but if you're holding back on what you should say, on what you should do..
just because you're afraid your partner won't love you anymore,
then that's your partners loss!

this shouldn't at all affect ANY of your friends.
like me.
i hate being that outside person...
i hate having it all dumped on me and i'm the one in the end who gets all touchy and sensitive.

i'm a person who remembers little random details.
so i remember something a friend promised me and was so excited about a long time ago.
but eventually that faded away because his girlfriend said otherwise.

thanks, friend, for backing me up.

urghh!~ this is sooo not good for a sick ol' me :(

<3 suryani

hardest but wisest thing to do.

i hope you are happier without me.
i hope you don't feel pressured anymore.
i hope you life is free without me.
i hope you get everything you want without me.
i hope you never think about me again.

but most of all, i just hope you don't let me know when you've moved on.
because what hurts me most is to know that you are loving someone other than me.

<3 suryani

happiness is like peeing in your pants

done with assignments!
done with 4th year Masters of Architecture!
wo0t wo0t!!!

now, can't wait to just work work work!
can't wait for Cairns!
can't wait to inspect the new place, hopefully it'll turn out beautifully,
and can't wait to move in and get out of this hell hole!

daddy's money is on the wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy for deposit for the new place~ yay-ness!~
soon, I hope!

<3 suryani

beyond my control

i wish i had great friends.
but the ones who care most are far away :( and i miss them so much.

<3 suryani

truth is,

why can my heart so easily be shaken nowadays?
i feel it to be so fragile, almost on the edge of a cliff.

<3 suryani

falling apart.

can i just drop down, and cry my heart out?

<3 suryani

we can't all be happy

i pray for something to lighten up my dark space.
but all i get is ignorance and getting left behind.

i'm not sure why i've been so sensitive lately,
more towards specific people.
i won't say who,
but if i have this feeling, it means something bad.
and all it does is bring me spiraling down a great depression.

<3 suryani

no place to run

at times my mind drifts off and i wander endlessly about the person that i am.

i'm a bitch,
yet i unknowingly let people step on me like i'm a piece of shit.
i'm trying to do something nice,
yet no one seems to care and gets angry at me instead.

i have friends,
yet still i have no shoulder to cry on at troubled times.

where do i stand in this world that is seemingly very cruel?

<3 suryani

just a little more.

2 weeks gone by just with the click of my fingers.

i will surely miss all the practices for Malaysian Carnival...
even though it made me fall behind in my sleep.
i'm glad to be able to say that it was all worth it because the performances were so awesomely carried out by my performers :))

now i've got one week of an intensive course to go through with a famous Malaysian architect, Hijjas Kasturi.
and i can get my much-needed one whole day of sleep and then maybe go on a road trip for the remaining two-week mid semester break :)

so much has happened in these few coming weeks leading up to the Malaysian Carnival.
i'm thankful for everyone and anyone that has been patient with me and my time.
and i'm sorry if it's caused anyone any inconvenience.

Selamat Hari Raya dan Maaf Zahir Batin.


all the organisers and crews for Malaysian Carnival 2010

<3 suryani

it's about time.

i wouldn't know where to start.

the days breezed by like a calm storm,
me unable to realize that time has already come closer to the big event.
which, unfortunately, means more assignments to finish up the week before (which i am now struggling to stay up and do my best)
and also means i need to manage my time wisely.

in between the days that i last posted and this very moment,
so much has happened,
so many stories to remember, so little space left in my head.

believe me, i'd love to listen and help out like i would usually do,
but recently, i've been super busy, i don't even have time for myself nor my B. :(

here's hoping for a good next-three-weeks!

cheers,
<3 suryani

a drive through.

haha look at that!
i've successfully not blogged for a month!!
a whole month!!~

sorry my homiess~
super busy... cos of Kampung Night.
after my last post, i was busy with the wedding,
then with family trips.
then when i got back, with Kampung Night, which is our Malaysian Night for this year :))

puasa is just around the corner.
okay, maybe not JUST AROUND the corner but we're there!
i cooked ayam percik for sahur,
and the kitchen hasn't smelled this good in ages!
it's been a while since i last cooked,
and it felt so good :))

will now be busy with Malaysian Carnival practices since we ONLY have 4 frickin weekends to get ready!!
let's hope to a good start!~







we had an awesome entree btw.
fettucine!! it was indeed much better than last year, in my opinion :))

<3 suryani

with a dream first.

'twas horrible.
i felt like i needed to strangle somebody.
i seriously could not take it anymore...
i know i kept on complaining and saying the same thing to my mom and dad...
but i still cannot get over it.

how annoying and childish my aunt is.

i know, she's my mom's sister so i shouldn't say it to her...
but it's just that it was becoming ridiculously annoying and pissing me off.

it's normal for my mom's side of the family to gather...
then it'll sound like a stampede of the wildlife park coming through...
i'm fine with that,
but when it comes to ignorant people like her...
it might just take me back a few emotional steps.

okay, enough of that.
for the whole day today we gathered at my house preparing for the wedding.
the bunga telurs, stuffing door gifts with candies and making them pretty...
to even changing curtains...
and apparently, i was the only one that was "fit" enough to climb the ladder and do all of em.
-____-!
it was good exercise anyway... but someone could've still lend me a hand.
and the scene was very typical of these events...
men sitting down looking almost sleepy...
women all chatty while working efficiently.. as well as multi-tasking.

the downside of today...
was that my makngah brought chinese fried rice...
my maklong brought mee kari...
my dad cooked nasi lemak in the morning and pengat durian late afternoon.
then nasi goreng pattaya for everyone.
and pisang goreng for snacks.
mana la tak gemuk balik malaysia ni?
i had a little of 3 of those, but i still feel guilty and the need to throw it all back up.
*sniffles*

Oh, yes...
i also got injured from moving around furniture.
cos it seems, i am the only "fit" person to do this task.
in this post, "fit" means... everyone else are lazy bums.

cannot wait for my two little angels to arrive later today! yippee!!
gonna sleep now... so i can wake up closer to seeing them :))

<3 suryani

unless i say so.

hello world,
sorry for not updating for the past few days...
i shouldn't have a reason to do so, because i'm now on holidays,
so all i have is time.
but... i had the unfortunate luck of having to accompany my dad to Kelantan.
oh mangggggggggggg... was it boring.
the drive back was better because we took a new route.. through Perak!
i loveddd the mountainss and the fog...
i just wished we could've stopped somewhere.
but if we did, we might've gotten hit by another car since the fog was very dangerous for our sight.

anywho,
i almost crossed the river to Thailand.
got offered to go there without my passport whatsoever, but with one of my "uncles"...
and by the quotation marks, i mean a family friend that is somewhat of an uncle to me.
but my dad was in a hurry to leave for KL...
so we declined.
we did, however, receive lots and lots of durians and rambutans from Thailand!
wooHoo!!

and...
an update on the day that was supposed to be special for me of all days in July.
it started out good, meeting with Miss Ukelele's mom, having a LARGE breakfast.
then my "malaysian Messi", as Miss Ukelele likes to call him, made me upset.. and depressed on my bday cos time that i couldve spent with him had to be put to waste.
thankfully, it turned out alright :)
ended up watching Despicable Me in 3D.
my first time watching a 3D movie, i'll have you know :)
and not a bad one either!
it was suchhh a cuteeeee movieeee!!~
had dinner at Kenny Rogers... more food.
and, oh! after i met with Miss Ukelele's mom, I came home to my dad's fried rice.
i didn't want to hurt his feelings, so i ate some...

so to top it all off,
i had a Grande Java Chip Frap at Starbucks :)))
of course that one cannot be ignored lah.

so now, at the end of the day...
i'm forced to have to drink my Kampung Tea...
with HIGH hopes that it'll help tomorrow morning!

*after waiting and trying 2 times to upload photos, i figured there's something wrong with blogger momentarily. so i will upload these photos on facebook instead :)*

<3 suryani

something to remember them by.

can you say, FAT?

yes, that is exactly what i'm heading towards... like.. OBESE! haha.
everyday since i've been back, my dad's been buying food from the stalls around my neighborhood.
and this is a Kelantanese neighborhood... so all the more worse! cos they give LARGE serves.
and today, i just went to have KFC.
yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!
but afterwards, i felt sooo sickkkk!!~
not throw-up sick, but just omg-i've-ate-so-much sick.

anyway,
the weather hasn't been all that bad since i arrived.
it's been very cloudy and a bit of rain now and then...
but the humidity is still there.

so yesterday and today was just cleaning up the house, again.
and i took some photos of what i found from wayyyyyyyyyyyyy back then.
which of course will all be thrown away cos we don't have any space to store them :(







from a one dollar note, to class notes, a letter from one of my best friends back in middle school, and my family photo.
hahahahaha i loookkkkkkkk younnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggg!!
oh, and btw, i don't know who John is. lol. i don't remember there ever being a John in high school.

here are photos for Miss Ukelele. hahahaha


on the day i left, waiting for the shuttle bus.


and THIS! okay, it might not look AS good as if it were right in front of you, but STILL! haha

take care Miss Ukelele!!
don't trash the house! hahaha

<3 suryani

a dedication.

it's been a whileee, since i last wrote.
and that is because... i had nothing to write???

well, i'm back in Malaysia now.
had a good flight and saw my flight attendant friends. hehe
when i arrived, i walked as fast as i could...
and drove as fast as i could...
to arrive home in time to watch Argentina vs. Germany.
i missed the first 20 mins and there was already one goal from Germany.
i saw the supposed-goal from Argentina that didn't count..
that got me upset and frustrated and depressed all the same,
so i stopped watching the game at half time.

yes, i parked the car and hurried to the mamak infront of my house to watch the game.
didn't go in the house yet, didn't take out my luggage.

i feel the world cup is coming to an end for me.
luckily, spain won yesterday.

anywho, back to being home.
thanks to Ukelele for sending me off! :))
i know you will miss me sooo muchhh kannn??? hahaha
and i'll miss you too!! 3 weeks will go by really fast, you'll see.
just keep yourself occupied til then :)
but of course, in 3 weeks classes will already start again..
which still leaves us depressed.

i snapped a photo of Ukelele from the "other side",
ceh, padahal glass jjeeeee..
where are your eyes???? ahahaha


and this is for you, Ukelele. hahahahaah.




laici kang, sirap bandung, and nasi goreng kampung :))

<3 suryani

where the mind wanders

my apologies.
i haven't been updating this blog for a while now...
and that's only because i've been so busy with my assignments and work.

so, as of Tuesday 22 June at 12.25pm i was officially done with my semester 1 of Masters of Architecture.
how about that?
sure, the semester flew by real fast..
but it was a bitch just trying to get through it.
i'm not saying that next semester won't be WORSE...
but i'm gonna enjoy my holidays while i can :)

i'm leaving for Malaysia next week :)) yippeeeeee!!!~
i think it's good that this time i'm only going back for a few short weeks,
for a simple reason: my brother's wedding.
i really don't need to out do myself and forget how important my focus will be for the next 5 semesters.

well,
now that the World Cup has started... that's what I've been doing in between work and sleep.
albeit i'm not a huge soccer fan...
i still love watching the sport, ever since high school.
i used to go to every basketball and soccer game my school had.

i want a vuvuzela.
i want all those colorful wigs and hats!
next WC is in brazil.
ARGH!
i really want to go.
that'd be AMAZING!
come on, who's with me??? :D

<3 suryani

when a bee dies.

I am a person who cherish friendships that I have.
I know to cherish it because I am a person who usually sees my friends for only four years... and the rest would be through letters and e-mails.
Even for a person who is not my best friend...
I will cherish that friendship.

But maybe I care too much about friends...
that people think they can take advantage of it...
and step where ever they like.
And maybe I care too much about friends is what's making me feel so easily stabbed-in-the-back.

I've thought so much about it.
What can I do?
I can't simply stop caring about friends.
That's the way I'm meant to be.
Maybe I shouldn't care too much?

I woke up early today to find a friend stabbing me.
A true friend knows what matters most at heart.
Well, I woke up with a stung heart.
I tried to go back to sleep...so i can forget all about it and care less.
But all I did when I awoke again was the same thing.

And so... I shall let today pass with a heart so stung...
all I can do is keep quiet.

...and tomorrow shall I pretend as though nothing has happened.

<3 suryani

rocky balance.

I'm in a place I never thought I'd find myself in.
It was something I said then... and I've said before...
but usually it works out.
This time, I think that was it.

<3 suryani

much stronger than forever.

I'm so confused.
Why do I feel this way?
Part of me feels like this is just another phase...
That it'll slowly fade away with time.

Could it be because I'm left stranded and alone?

But part of me feels like "I REALLY WANT IT!"
My conscious is fighting with me though.
There's this tug-of-war going on in my head... and my heart.

It's something I've never felt for so long.
Something I should still get... if everything was alright.
I feel overly excited over this.
When I know I shouldn't...
But I just can't help it.

Will you try to pull me back in?
Or will you just leave me with some slack forever?

Sorry, no random photo today cos I've gotten a little lazy to get my HDD :)

<3 suryani

Don't want to get lost.

So I started out today thinking that I'd be pressured and stressed from having to finish up my assignment that's due on Thursday.
However, as I was trying to finish up my assignment at half past 9 this evening, something happened to lift the mood and lit up my entire night.
Hehehehe...
I honestly haven't felt this way in sooooo long...
which, I guess, sounds bad because I should feel like this everyday...
but with everything that's happened lately, I'm not surprised this straying has continued.
Hahahaha.

I'm in such a bubbly mood...
that I might just sleep early today and hope to dream of this dream :)
AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
Seriously, I feel like I'm in high school all over again...
but this isn't play-play lah.
hahaha.
I've only told 3 people today of what happened.
And hahahaha... I must sound so childish right now, I'm sorry, but it's something I haven't felt for so long.
So I guess it's understandable that I'm reacting this way :)))

But don't misunderstand me ...
deep inside I'm still VERY worried about my assignments.

So here's my random photo from my phone.
It's from my graduation... with Sarah and Isabel!~
It's blurry.. but I love the photo for some reason. :)


<3 suryani

lingering thoughts

i am extremmmeeeelllyyy happy that my lecturer decided to book the computer suite for us...
lately, it's been so full of first and second year students with their classes and workshops that we all had to get kicked out.

it's ridiculous for us to pay this much amount of money...
to only see the Hughes Plaza get renovated...
and the Architecture school to get left out.
when i was in first year, we only had one computer room...
and they were renovating the new computer room.
we got to use it in second year, if i'm not mistaken.
at first, everyone was so relieved cos there were more computers, which means we all could have a chance at doing our work at uni.
but now, the rooms are always booked by classes that means we almost always never get enough time to do our work.

well...
it may be a little too late for our lecturer to book it...
cos no one might come tomorrow anyway...
but monday and tuesday will be ideal :D
i will make full use of it. :))

on another note:

here are some random photos that i got out from my phone.
i finally got it to connect to my laptop.
hmmm...
i think i shall continue to put 2 random photos of things from my phone with every blog that i post after this.
...until i run out of random photos lah.

these are random notes i found on someone's locker... and it changes every once in a while :))




<3 suryani

the impossible

never think that you are good enough for something you don't know the outcome of.

i have been there through good and hard times, through the smooth ride and the rough ones.
i know that you are in dire need of getting your priorities straight.
you may have said that i was the problem in this equation...
but it's obvious that you are your own problem.

of course you are getting tired of it.
but just keep on moving forward to just get this over and done with as quick as you possibly can.
but then, i guess you don't know what i mean do you.
because these lips are chapped and dried out just blabbering on about the same things every single time.
with no success.

i am getting tired of worrying for you.
i am getting tired of being the one that cares more than you.

so set your future straight, will you?!

<3 suryani

asking for a change

I think all I needed was a little more attention that I usually get...
maybe that is why I strayed.

I can tell you one thing,
I loved it, while it lasted. :)

On another topic,
I'm very relieved that the due dates for the assignments I have left aren't that close to each other,
giving me more time to concentrate on MASCA SA's stuff.
Like the event we have lined up next for a dance.
I've got to get those steps going...
at least pick the song out.
With loads of help from mon amie, Miss Ukelele,
I'm sure we can make this a success :))

<3 suryani

someone i cannot be

first of all,
i'd like to wish a very happy mother's day to my mom and sister.
but my mom doesn't really read this.
the past few times i've expressed my heart out like my parents would read this...
they were kind of put to waste cos my family don't know that this blog exists.
let's keep it that way... :)
they were just merely a way for me to let go of things i wouldn't know who to express it to.

so basically, i just texted my mom and called her.
however, i'm a little confuzzled at how the topic ran off course from mother's day to talking about the airport system and it's reliability.
but yes, that is my mother, who goes on talking about different topics at a time with no fullstop, commas, nor pause in between.
i think i might have inherited a little of that... ohmaigoshhh... i'm becoming a little more like her every minute of my life!

secondly,
i would loveeee to wish one of my beautiful bestfriends a very happy 22nd birthday :)
Arielle, I don't know how much of this you still read, but I hope you're reading this...
i know you're busy... but this will be here for you even when you decide to read it when you're in your granny chair. hahaha.
okay, no.
and even though you said the best birthday gift would be me going to nyc...
that present will be a couple years late,
seeing as how i won't be going anytime soon. :(
but tell you what, why don't you save up a trip to the MET for us? :)
we can spend time there like the good ol' days :)

lastly,
i realized i talked way too much about paper sizes in the last post.
more than i should be anyway.
but i think the architecture student in me just needed to crawl out for a second and let someone know the many hassles we go through.

so whoever sees me in the next lifetime,
please don't forget to remind me to not take up architecture anymore.
make me a photo montage of my life now if needed to persuade the next-lifetime-me.
i'm sure the next-lifetime-me would be scared out of her/his/it's skirt/pants/whatever.

<3 suryani

a revolving world.

...and again, it's been a while.

i've been super busy the last couple of weeks due to the major assignment submissions.
we had something major to hand in for our elective,
which ended up being more of a consult...
that turned out good cos my lecturer liked my idea.

then we had the final design submission for our core subject,
which really put me back on my beauty sleep.
the submission for my elective was on Monday so right after that I took a good long nap... and continued on my final design submission for Thursday.
on Wednesday I came to Uni for a workshop session at 11am... and I stayed on at Uni overnight to finish my final design so i can print it off, submit it, and go home.
i finished my assignment at about 9.30am...
but everytime i wanted to print... i saw something that i needed to change.
when i was finally happy with it, i finally decided to print.
little did i know the trouble that was heading my way -_-!!!

from expecting to print it out by 10am (since the printer takes a long ass time to print A0 size paper)... and being able to go home a bit and take a shower and come back for submission at 2pm...
i left Uni at 2:30pm... because the printer was jammed with other people trying to print large A0 and A1s and first years being a pain in the ass trying to print word documents on the frickin plotter.

i finally had mine printed...
but at A1s.. which made it look much uglier.. since i had to re-arrange everything on the poster to fit two A1s instead of one A0. -_-!!!
i took a picture of it after pinning it up, but maybe i won't show it here seeing as how it's so damn ugly.

so i literally almost fell asleep on the bus heading back home...
but once i got home... i think i practically fainted on my bed.
surprisingly i woke up after a mere 6-hour nap after being stuck at uni infront of a computer for 27 hours.

so, i'm so stubborn.. i should have started earlier right?
like the weekend?
but i terrriiibbbllyyyy needed the money...
so i decided to work on the weekend on an event, Tasting Australia, at Elder Park.
the first day was gloomy for our stall..
but the second day was greattttnesssss!





<3 suryani

a little good goes a long way.

wowwwwwwweeee~
it's been realllyyyy long since i last updated my blog.
and it's the same reason... i'm not going to bore you with the same explanation.
just.. loads and loads of assignments one after another.

and i have nothing to update except my endless complaints about masters of architecture and this hell hole.

oh yes,
my parent's visit here was great...
although it was a bit rushed since a certain lecturer didn't think thoroughly about our "break" and our "graduation", so i had to go to two days of mandatory surveying class doing things that we're never gonna do anyway!

and i must admit,
i felt a little sad after my parents had left.
it finally felt like those days when i still stayed under the same roof...
depending on my parents to do everything for me.
and then they just left back to malaysia...
and i'm left with complete silence.
my mom's constant babbling was gone...
my dad keeping me company while i do my assignment was gone...
my dad's cooking... my mom's cleaning (hahaha!!!)...
and it felt good for the first few days when i still had part of my allowance left...
to just treat them for a change.
until my money ran out, of course.
it felt really good to buy them stuff with my money.
okay, so maybe my dad always says my money is his money... but still! it's my allowance... used for my living expenses here... and for me to be able to save up more than half so i can treat them when they get here... it was a big step! :p
and i think my parents felt happy too.
and probably a little sad...
i thought i saw a glimpse of my mom's sad expression...
and a part of me wanted to go hug her...
but no mushy-mushy stuff for me with my family or else they'd know my weakness! :P
well, the reason for that expression is most probably for the fact that all her children are now university graduates.
we've all got degrees...
and i was the last one... i was like the benchmark of two things: an end of something good... and a start of something greater.

i'm really happy i did my parents proud.
:)
cos all of this was partly for me... mostly for them :)


<3 suryani

don't trust them.

i'm extremely upset.
i thought that my parents' arrival would make me happier...
it did for a couple hours in the morning...
but a bit later on... i was just really upset, angry, frustrated...
but mostly, angry and sad.

seriously, i thought this was good and a little worth it.
but not when it came to this.
it's disrespectful.
i am heartbroken... they might be heartbroken. i feel like i've let them down.
only He knows how i truly felt at that very moment.
i feel like crying, but i don't want them to see how this is stressing me, cos they'll think it's their fault.
when, of course, it's not.

and worse yet, this just adds on to the endless list of things i have to figure out.
i'm so stressed.
in my first year, i heard that people had breakdowns during the 5 year architecture course.
and i think mine won't be too far away.

i may be a rebel at times,
but i always think of my parents.
and this is their first time here...
and this happens.
not a very good impression, Adelaide.
i want them to like it here...
i want them to enjoy it and have their well-earned visitation.

seriously lah,
only now it's becoming so clear to me how much of a rip off this is.

i took action.
i just hope it's good enough...

<3 suryani

and so the song goes.

My "hard-working-ness" was here today...
but I think that was a little bit too late since it's already Friday now...
and my parents are coming on Saturday.

But not to stress too much while typing this up,
I've accomplished today more than I had in this week.

I simply cannot wait to go out and about with my parents.
Mainly cos I also wanna go sightseeing. Hahaha!!
I know that those days are gonna pull me back some on my assignments,
but a much needed break is here... and I'm takin it with arms wide open.

<3 suryani

outburst.

I'm sorry,
but browsing through some people's status and other "literatures" just now...
I just need to make this clear:

Aaight/Aight/Aite = Alright

Aaight/Aight/Aite DOES NOT mean "Isn't that correct?"/"Kan?"/"Right?"

I think those of you who do know this need to stress to your friends.
Either use it properly, or don't use it at all.

Not too sound so... bitchy,
but I've always been annoyed at this ever since the first time someone used it on me.
The person just kept on saying "Aite? Aite?" and I just kept on thinking "What are you trying to say because it doesn't make sense."
Only then did I realize people used it for "Right?"
This person is like "Aite? Aite?"
I'm like "Okay, understood." (thinking that it meant "Alright? Alright?"
And this person is like "I'm asking you a question! Aite ke salah?"
>.< !!
I think some people would agree with me when you keep on saying "Aite? Aite?" and no one responds cos no one knows what you mean that you just sound a little like a broken record.

Okay,
just a little thing I needed to get off my chest.

<3 suryani

illusions never fade.

I think...
she's saying that she has feelings for you.
You see, she says she's happy... but she's talking about YOU being happy.
So, technically... we all know that when girls say "I'm happy that you're happy," it just means that they're slowly dying inside.

I think she's happy that we're like this.
I think that's why she's had so many "happy" changes in the past few days.
And it's worse when you respond and tell her all your stories and your woes like she has the right to know.

I am a girl.
OBVIOUSLY.
I know how her mind works in this situation.
It's exactly how my mind would work... but I'd be less scheming.

Haih.
What is life without the sudden jagged edges? :)

<3 suryani

it is killing me

I should have spent my time doing an assignment that's due in 2.5 weeks time...
so I can consult with my tutor tomorrow...
but I seemed to have gotten distracted by other matters... that aren't really important but it's a way to avoid doing work!

Well, I just wanted to write that I am extremely upset with the fact that this BREAK...
isn't really a break for me after all.
I've got 2 huge assignments due the week that we come back from break...
and so I've got to work on that in the first week of break.
As a matter of fact, I've got to finish it up by Friday night of the first week.
Which is basically next week! duh!

Why you may ask??
Cos my parents are coming the week after...
and of course I've got to spend time with them.
It's ridiculous how the school doesn't even keep in mind that there are international students who want to go to the graduation ceremony, hence having family over to the country.
And furthermore, the family will want to visit around Adelaide/South Australia...
but obviously, they have not thought that through.

I've got two full days from 9am to 5pm of "survey"....
doing god knows what.
Hence, two days NOT spent wisely with my parents.
Seriously lah, I'm very upset and feel like I should bring this up to the school or something,
but I don't know who and where.

Even though we're doing masters...
doesn't mean that we don't deserve a break.
Even in the lecture today... the dude was like...
"If you want some good books to read this break...." - and he went on to give the list...
As if we were planning on just spending time reading during the break.
Puh-leeeasse!

Yea, if we bring this issue up...
they'll be like ... "When you guys start working on a real job, you won't even get breaks."
..... but we friggin don't careee cooosss we are still friggin studyinnnnggg!!

yes,
that's all i have to say.
I should try to do something... to show tomorrow....
Maybe...
maybe.

P.S. Sorry about the last post. I'd like to know that I'm a good friend who's advice won't be taken for granted or dismissed just like that. I love to help out a friend in need... but I won't budge if I'm not asked... butttt which of course will hurt me knowing that they can't come to me for help :(

<3 suryani

don't fall in

I'm trying to save myself from hurting... well... myself.
These actions I make won't be appreciated that much...
or might not be listened to at all.
And in the end, I'm the one who will get sad, depressed, and maybe a little heartbroken.

Although some people may see me as an angry person, some may say scary, and others may think I'm just a bitch...
whatever it is, I try my best to be a good, loyal friend to those close to me.
However, sometimes I just have to back off where I know I may not be needed.
I should just mind my own beeswax and speak up when asked.

Yes, that's what I shall do from now on.
Maybe then I won't hurt as much when my feelings aren't considered :)

P.S. One of my best friend's birthday just passed... so, Happy Belated Birthday to Suji aka Christine. Although she most probably won't be reading this as I haven't been able to contact her latelyyyy. :(

<3 suryani

i flit, i float

I have just returned from a good day :)
I had my plaster model presentation today,
which went great.

Although, this morning was a little rushed for me.
I spoke too soon, babbling and bragging about not being late and not missing class and whatnot.
Well, I've been half an hour early or at least 15 mins early for each class...
but for today, the day of project submission AND presentation -
1. I woke up late.
2. Had to get ready in half an hour - which was successful but tres rushed.
3. I got to the bus stop on time, but the friggin bus was late.
4. Hence, I arrived to class 5 minutes past 10.

Yes, class technically starts 10 past...
but I am not one to arrive even a minute late cos I hate the attention and the head-turning when you arrive and walk in through the door.

And the bus driver had the heart to say that the bus behind her was late.
We arrived at the train station stop,
and there were too many people wanting to get on.
She actually said, "Obviously since this is happening..." -and by "this" she meant so many people waiting for the bus- "... there should be a bus right behind me. The bus behind me must be running late."

Whatevs,
at least I arrived to class as people were uploading their presentations on to the laptop.
It was still all good.

So, here's the model.
And I will also put up the picture that I soooooo wanted you to see! hahahaha...
I'm sorry if it's a little R-rated for you guys. haha




cut from foam.

<3 suryani

still can't believe

There’s this French phrase that I learned constantly in the 7 years of classes that I enrolled in...
but I've forgotten it.
and it means something like – crazy + off-the-wall – something like that lah.
and that’s exactly how I feel momentarily.

Today.. or maybe to be more precise I should say YESTERDAY, was Saturday.
a weekend… no?
weekend = rest… no?
NO. Apparently not for me, not this semester.
I woke up at a little past 8am to get ready to go to Uni before anyone else does and I’d have to wait in a LONG queue to use the foam cutter machine.
There are about 50 of us in this elective and only 2 foam cutter machines in the Architecture School. This does not even account for the rest of the stressed-out Archi students who might want to use it as well. Yes, apparently I pay so much and get so little.
Only when I arrived, the door was locked.
I suppose whoever closed the door (which will automatically lock once it closes) ignored the huge ass piece of paper that said “Please do not close door.”
Thankfully security was able to open it for us, and I got everything finished in 8 hours.
Yup, I, the newly-hardworking-archi student, stayed in Uni for 8 hours, on a weekend.

There is just no time for a break in between assignments, let alone procrastination, something of which I haven’t done AT ALL lately :)), hoorah for me~
There’s this constant cycle of working and never getting to rest.
But at least, I’m on track for this submission and I can get a good night’s sleep tonight and start a little bit later on the next task at hand tomorrow.

I've taken a few pictures, but haven't transferred it yet.
I will do so soon...
for I have something you will definitely like to see :p
or just some of you. hahahaha

So I'll leave this post here...
I shall get my beauty sleep now :))

<3 suryani

can't shake it.

i'm pretty surprised myself...
but you know what...?

i'm totally fine with how everything is right now. :D

may it be continuous.

<3 suryani

the keropok tales.

so Wednesday going to Thursday... I had skipped sleep for more than 30 hours.
yes, so ridiculous.
but I'm happy with the way my model turned out and the positive reaction i received..

and it turned out that the usual 10am-1pm and 2pm-5pm class on Thursday after the submission was mandatory.
we used to be able to just leave after a brief intro to our next assignment...
but apparently we needed those 6 hours to prepare for our next task.
my coursemate and I could barely keep our eyes open.

so, I'm pretty happy with the fact that we're already going into week 4.
this weekend is the very first weekend i get to actually relax.
except for the surprise fire alarm this morning... that had 4 fire trucks beeping towards The Village.

anyway, you must be wondering why the title right?
i don't really feel like wanting to stay at home much...
since i constantly have my mind wandering to the keropok ikan downstairs.
and of course... i snack on it constantly... which is very dangerrrrooouuussss considering they're small pieces and you never know how much you're really consuming.

enough about that.
talking about it just made me want it more.
hahahaa... reminder to self: don't goreng any more keropoks!

on another note:
here are some pictures of my model.
don't let the photos fool you... the model is pretty huge.
those surrounding walls are higher than 10m at a 1:20 scale.
it was pretty difficult to get it to uni... but around $10 worth of a cab ride helped.
kudos to Miss Ukelele for helping me stitch these pillows and curtains together, else i would've spent useless amount of hours making uglier ones.







<3 suryani

never be the same.

i have a feeling that this semester will go by so fast.
not just because i like the assignments we're given.
but because i will always have 2 models due every week...
one on monday and another on thursday.

when the monday task is assigned...we will get the next one.
it will be explained and described... then for the rest of the class we can do or go where ever we like.
so monday afternoon up to wednesday night.. i will have to focus on whatever is due on thursday morning.

on thursday morning, when we submit our assignment, we will be assigned the next task...
so from thursday afternoon to sunday night... i will spend my time focusing on whatever is due on monday.

and the cycle goes on.
and believe me... i most definitely will have to spend every free hour trying to finish up my models cos they take a long time!
and in between, i have work.
i partly feel sad, but partly feel grateful that time has been cut from work for me..
so that i can spend more time doing my assignment.
i remind myself that there's always next semester... so keep what's most important the priority as of right now.

i think i'm taking on too much...
more than i can handle.
so far i can handle it... but i might burst at any point.

my head was thumping terribly today.
i could hardly keep my eyelids opened.
and my feet hurt from too much speed walking.

in a way, i see this as a positive thing.
at least time flies by faster, and i don't have to miss home so much.

i will post one of the many images of my latest submission (this afternoon) at the end of this entry.
i truly love it...
and i truly love my d90 :))

the next assignment to come is soooo much more complicated.
since we have to take one of these many patterns that we achieved and make it into a built form.
but that will have to wait til thursday, cos i've got a final model to work on for thursday's submission.
and i still have a lot to do.

yes, no more 8++ hrs of sleep..
at least not for now anyway.



<3 suryani

don't call my name

i am verryyyy the tired.
spent last night working on my model...
more like cutting pieces of it...
progressing only a little bit...
because to cut these little pieces out are sooo difficult.
and it hurts my fingers.

i have much more to do.
but unfortunately i had to stop cos i only had 4 hours of sleep before i had to rise and shine for the MASCA SA Welcoming BBQ 2010.

the BBQ was tres tiring.
but i loveeeeddd getting the chance to eat sausages again.
hahaha.. even though these sausages are very the oily.
but it's okay, kan?, cos it only happens once in a while :p

when i got home i had a relaxing time resting in the living area for a while before i started my OTHER assignment...
due tomorrow.
and now i'm soooo tired.
i just can't wait to fall asleep.
and maybe have classes cancelled tomorrow :D

<3 suryani

the truth hurts

the start of this semester has been really good.
i don't want to jinx it by talking about it too much...
but that is all i will say.
and i hope that it continues to be filled with assignments i really am interested in.

i see myself more dedicated to the assignments.
for example, i spent 6 hours last night making the frame of a half sphere... which didn't turn out the way it should have.
so - complete waste of time, but still satisfied that i started early :)


note: this did not turn out as good as it looks.

i find that this year... or just the start...
has been really good to me.
even though classes are filled up to 5pm most of the time or i work til 5...
the positive attitude towards it is that time flies by so much faster for me.
i seriously did not realize how fast time was going til i noticed this is already Week 2 going on to 3.
weekends are filled with MASCA activities...
but that will only last for the first few weeks.
next thing i'll know it'll be winter break...
and one more semester left this year :D

on another note:
i am selling off my Olympus SP-510uz, complete with the cover bag, rechargeable batteries and its charger, tripod, 2gb Fujifilm XD picture card, usb cable and whatnot.
at a reasonable price of $450-500, which can be negotiated...

<3 suryani

crashing down.

today was a goooooood day.
where i felt so proud of myself,
that Masters of Architecture is the right path for me.

at first, i just thought it ridiculous for us to have to design and build a model/robot that can jump.
it's like - "what's this got to do with architecture???"
even as i was asking around for other people's insights, nobody really knew what to say because it's like i'm in a whole other course.
but turns out my model was just fine.

i came into class worrying about the materials i've used,
when i had a few glimpses of other people's model materials.
several had the same concept as mine, and looked much more better.
but in the end, my model won the Most Elegant title,
or at least i shared it with 2 other people.
yes, that meant my tutor liked it.

so next assignment sounds more like the artsy stuff i was doing back in LaGuardia High School in NYC.
and i'm excited for it...
but as for now, I've got to concentrate on my next model-making assignment that's due on Thursday...
which, of course, i have not started.
when i know I won't have much time tomorrow, seeing as how i'm working after class, i'm still procrastinating.
i know i've got this assignment due and i need lots of time on it so i won't have to stay up all night.
however, my mind has randomly chosen for me to concentrate on other works.
like this blog.

i can feel my mind pushing myself towards the edge of a cliff...
trying to balance, preventing from a deathly fall.

it doesn't seem i have learnt my lesson.

<3 suryani

justifyingly beautiful.

"so I wait for you like a lonely house
till you will see me again and live in me.
Till then my windows ache." - Pablo Neruda

there's this tug-of-war going on in my mind and my heart.
one side fights for stay and another for go.
i love this quote by one of my favorite poets...
because it has this immediate sensation of sadness and this imagery of someone waiting quietly, wrapping their knees closely to their chest, for another to come for them.
this happens AT LEAST twice every year for me since I was a year old.

why is it that when we have 2 months to "seize the day"...
we only start a couple of weeks before the actual departure?
or maybe possibly just the week before.
only then everything starts becoming packed and you regret every step that you had to skip.

i had a great time today...
and hoping tomorrow will just be the same.
but wanting to capture more moments and cherish every second.
without interruptions.

p/s. here's a little something from my trip :)





<3 suryani

what do you want from me

i've just been browsing through my facebook for i have nothing better to do for the moment.
my laptop is being hospitalized and so is my HDD, so there's all my entertainment gone.

i was looking through a profile from someone from my old school.
and it just took me back a few years, to when i was new at the school.
it seemed that fate had again drawn me to be the "buddy" of this girl from the "popular" group,
just as it had back in New York.
but this one wasn't really popular popular.
they were of... a higher class??
well, they were students who's parents were part of the PTA or worked in the school.
my first impression... i didn't really want to be with them.
but they were all i knew, and my old friend from a previous school was also there.
so that's where i had to be.
they seemed to always be looking at you a certain way.
thinking they're all better and whatnot.

but you know, that was high school.
we should've all grown up to be a more better... matured person by now.
i believe i have... cos i admit that that was all high school stuff.
now i just put that all aside.
but this one girl... i realized that i have never seem to stop... disliking.
she never smiled at me. never really had a conversation with me, more like trying to disprove what i say with 2 sentences or less.
apetah lagi dgn british accent dia... lagi la bunyi macam dia stuck up.
but i never understood what her problem was.
cos all her other friends seemed to like me just fine..

and visiting her profile just now just made me see that she hasn't really changed that much.

having to adapt to soooo many different schools, one after another, has made me into the "perceptive" person that i am today.
i know what kind of people i can count on... or if they're merely there cos they have to.
it's not to say that those people are mean or anything...
it's just i know the long terms from the shorts.
it's a little depressing though... having the long terms so far away.
and knowing this, i can't be too picky with whom i choose to be friends with.

if you're my friend... and reading this..
know that once i consider you a friend... i will always consider your feelings.
maybe more than i should...( but to a certain point i know when to stop. )
so if anything triggers me to go against you, just know that it takes a lot for me to do that.
most probably ignorance.

oh, and that story about my school and the groups...
i ended up with another bunch.
a more more appreciative bunch :)

<3 suryani

time for changes

i finally have something to write about.
it's nothing interesting, though.
so just leave if this bores you.

i'm leaving next week for Adelaide.
NEXT friggin WEEK!
here's the thing: i'm sort of excited but... sort of don't wanna go cos i feel like there's still so much i haven't gotten to do yet.
but the fact that i have my whole year planned out already... (trips and whatnot)
makes me comfortable to go back to Adelaide cos i know i'm already coming back this year for a wedding! :D
*ahem*

i'm also excited for the things to come this semester :)
i hope my plans work out.
i hope this year will be so much better than the last :))

i am extremely excited for this wedding :))
but, of course, a little nervous.
but let's hope everything goes well ^_^!

this year has already been good to me.
and it's only the beginning.
who knows what's yet to come for the rest of the year!

til then,

<3 suryani

if nothing will be said

heloh2.

hmmm..what shall we talk about?
well, i just met up with the bunch and had a good time :)
and i'm so proud of myself for being able to find klcc and the way back home all by myself :D

while i'm happy to be back in Malaysia (mainly because i love that i don't sweat here whereas Medan's weather makes me sweat like crazay~)
i'm a little bit lonely when i'm at home doing nothing...
for the past 2 weeks i would have my dad to keep me company.
i would help him cook...
but now when i'm home, i just go online and try to watch movies i've watched a dozen times.
so you understand why i'd want to go out most of the time wouldn't u? :P

hmm..
i have noooo idea what to talk about.
sometimes the things i want to blog about pops into my head at random moments...
and i'm not about to rush to the nearest computer to note it down..
so when i am finally near a computer at the end of the day...
i would probably already forget it -_-!

so conclusion:
i'm sorry there's no topic of interest today. i'll just post pictures up.






















well, that's all i guess.
oh one thing that i loved about all the mosques that i visited...
they all had beautifully colored stained glass windows.
i thought only churches used those.

<3 suryani