damp pillows.

so many things that i haven't said to you,
but that's because i know it will hurt you.
but i handle the situation with care.

i don't understand why you just can't stop.
it's like you don't remember what we had, and i had gone through.

it hurts.
but i don't want to cry anymore.
enough of you hurting me.
all i can pray for now is your happiness with them.
and hope i find something better.

<3 suryani

red light.

when will it be that guys would be able to understand women???
i'm not saying we're easy to understand.
yes, women are complicated.
but have you men not watched a single chick flick?
or even a romance movie? ... or any movie with some sort of LOVE in it??

the least you could do is to learn from the movies.
and that's already so sappy anyway, it's more than enough.

i honestly think that i am not only thinking about myself,
i understand why some certain person might think so,
but they have it the wrong way!
i am a person, a woman, FULL of negative thoughts.
yes, that's bad for whom ever that gets me.
but doesn't mean that you have to make it all the more worse by helping me further expand my negative thoughts!
yes, from there, you're going to say that i'm only thinking about me,
but, what the hell!
i am NOT thinking about me, that's for both of us!

ARGHHH!
is there anyonee.. ANYONE at all that understands what i'm rambling about right now!
*pulls hair*

<3 suryani

is blooming good or bad?

i haven't blogged for so long,
mostly because i've been swamped with assignments.
i still have one more to go,
but that one won't take as long :)

anyway, i've been down with the flu for the past 4-5 days.
now that i've typed it out, i think that is unusually long and i should go see the doctor.
but my voice is starting to sound better, i think.
let's just wait it out over the public holiday and see how i am on tues!
then we'll just go from there.

so, how have i been feeling?
you know me, i like to think of random things in my head.
lately, it surrounds a lot over who i am, if anyone honestly cares for me, painful things playing over and over in my head, and the likes.
i can't help but think negative things.
it's who i am.
but the least someone could do about this is, not to tell me to stop thinking negatively, but to reassure me that all this negativity is just in my head.
because, you know, often my guts are correct.
and i can't help but think otherwise.

haih. why must life in 2011 be so complicated.
it's only half of the year, and i think i'm already starting to get eye bags for thinking too much and too much depression.

<3 suryani