don't come and go.

was what i chose the wrong decision??
it seems to be that everything i decide on these days turn out to be something that makes me regret it in the end.

an example would be... my decision to go to Penang trip.
yes, i was sooo excited to go. and still am!
but part of the reason that made it easy for me to make my decision was that no one i knew was taking the other elective i was interested in.
but now... my friends have all moved to that elective...
and i feel like i want to take BOTH!
okay, this might sound like i'm just following in my friends' footsteps..
but the thing is.. i already like the subject.
it was just a matter of having company. so it'd be easier to find groups to work with.

then the Penang trip has blocked my schedule so that i can't go to NCG this year.
which sucks.
i didn't go to Beach Day. cos i was busy with my field trip.
and this is the last year that i'll be around the same crowd.
next year.. it might suck.. because of the people in charge of organizing it from here.
at first i came to terms with it..
but now... i hear that Bunkface and Estrella will be there for the malaysian nite!!!
COCHONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!
nak jugak... :(
i know that Bunkface will never come to Adelaide for OUR malaysian nite.
cos it's just not THAT big of a deal to come to.
lagi memalukn Adelaide ade la...

if only by some miracle the Penang trip got moved earlier :(
if only.

anyway,
i've uploaded the pictures from the field trip but i haven't editted them yet.
so once i do, i'll post it up :)

today? i went to a wedding ceremony that celebrated the marriage of 3 couples.. sort of 4.. but physically.. there were only 3 couples.
the food was good!
yummmmmmmmmmmmmm...
it would've been much more of a big deal for me if they were people i knew.

played a little basketball with hazerq, khai, ira and pojik today.
mmmmmmmm... my skills from high school are..... non existant anymore????
but it was fun :D

so yep... that's all for today.
basically the main point of this entry is to let out what i was thinking about this Penang trip ... blocking my chance from getting to watch Bunkface perform live in Australia!... dammit!
i even asked one of the members on myspace... and they said it's still in process.
in the back of my mind you know what i was thinking?
hopefully tak jadi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
muahahahahah.. jahat tak?
sorrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ... NOTTTTT.. hehhee (khai faham tak? :P)

<3 suryani

not shying away from human affection

so it's 2:20am on a cold Sunday morning...
and i just got back from watching Death Note... or half of it?
i'm not sure... but i remember my eyes getting droopy sometime in the beginning...
then all the funny things that we pointed out to each other made me laugh... the sleepiness went away.
but remembering that i'm trying to go to the netball/basketball practice tomorrow...
i thought i should go home and get some sleep in.

and so. here i am, on my bed....
not sleepy.

i browse through myspace... or not really browsing but refreshing the page.
and looking at my blog.
i realize that yesterday marked a year and a half of me and my B being together.
and comparing it to the state that it was in the beginning...
i wonder where it all went and why it has become this way.
it's possible that maybe bcos of being so busy this semester... i'm able to avoid thinking too much about our problems...
but we also need to remember that this long distance will last for another 2 years.
we need to have more faith in each other and not be so sensitive everytime we don't get the attention we crave for.

i was in uni today with my group members working on the assignment due monday.
i was having trouble trying to start bcos i was distracted by the more important fact that i needed to count my average so far.
hold on now - you're wondering why the change of topic? just keep on reading.
i need to pass with AT LEAST a 60 to get into Masters of Architecture next year.
so far... what i can say is that i have enough.
but it can all go away if i don't start concentrating.
that's how low i am.
i want to have at least a 70 so that it doesn't seem that i'm on the borderline of being good.
after all, you already know if you're a bad architect, you're not gonna be any good in the real world... where the collapse of a building can kill hundreds of people... and that's on you.
so that's another reason why i've been so busy.
even though there's so much work to be done... on top of that... i'm trying to do more than i usually offer... so that i can do better.
which means more time consumption.

so please, B... understand me when i can't do what u ask me for.
yes, i'm online other times.. but i'm only online when i'm free and that's if i haven't forgotten to log off.
i might have gone out and forgotten to sign off.
it's not that i have much more time for other people.. but whoever is there when i'm online.. that's purely coincidental.

and sometimes.. when i need to release the tension and free myself from all the stres...
it's not talking that i need... but it's a companion.
any companion that i can just stay and have fun with.

so..yep. enough with this emotional stuff.
well... so i should get off now and get some sleep.
although... not feeling so tired.
maybe i should do some more cleaning seeing that my inspection is on monday.
need to get some of these marks off the walls.

til next time :) i'll update with pictures from the field trip.



<3 suryani