a little good goes a long way.

wowwwwwwweeee~
it's been realllyyyy long since i last updated my blog.
and it's the same reason... i'm not going to bore you with the same explanation.
just.. loads and loads of assignments one after another.

and i have nothing to update except my endless complaints about masters of architecture and this hell hole.

oh yes,
my parent's visit here was great...
although it was a bit rushed since a certain lecturer didn't think thoroughly about our "break" and our "graduation", so i had to go to two days of mandatory surveying class doing things that we're never gonna do anyway!

and i must admit,
i felt a little sad after my parents had left.
it finally felt like those days when i still stayed under the same roof...
depending on my parents to do everything for me.
and then they just left back to malaysia...
and i'm left with complete silence.
my mom's constant babbling was gone...
my dad keeping me company while i do my assignment was gone...
my dad's cooking... my mom's cleaning (hahaha!!!)...
and it felt good for the first few days when i still had part of my allowance left...
to just treat them for a change.
until my money ran out, of course.
it felt really good to buy them stuff with my money.
okay, so maybe my dad always says my money is his money... but still! it's my allowance... used for my living expenses here... and for me to be able to save up more than half so i can treat them when they get here... it was a big step! :p
and i think my parents felt happy too.
and probably a little sad...
i thought i saw a glimpse of my mom's sad expression...
and a part of me wanted to go hug her...
but no mushy-mushy stuff for me with my family or else they'd know my weakness! :P
well, the reason for that expression is most probably for the fact that all her children are now university graduates.
we've all got degrees...
and i was the last one... i was like the benchmark of two things: an end of something good... and a start of something greater.

i'm really happy i did my parents proud.
:)
cos all of this was partly for me... mostly for them :)


<3 suryani

don't trust them.

i'm extremely upset.
i thought that my parents' arrival would make me happier...
it did for a couple hours in the morning...
but a bit later on... i was just really upset, angry, frustrated...
but mostly, angry and sad.

seriously, i thought this was good and a little worth it.
but not when it came to this.
it's disrespectful.
i am heartbroken... they might be heartbroken. i feel like i've let them down.
only He knows how i truly felt at that very moment.
i feel like crying, but i don't want them to see how this is stressing me, cos they'll think it's their fault.
when, of course, it's not.

and worse yet, this just adds on to the endless list of things i have to figure out.
i'm so stressed.
in my first year, i heard that people had breakdowns during the 5 year architecture course.
and i think mine won't be too far away.

i may be a rebel at times,
but i always think of my parents.
and this is their first time here...
and this happens.
not a very good impression, Adelaide.
i want them to like it here...
i want them to enjoy it and have their well-earned visitation.

seriously lah,
only now it's becoming so clear to me how much of a rip off this is.

i took action.
i just hope it's good enough...

<3 suryani